Mr. Obama is now a centrist, reporters report

The lamestream media told you:

"A Centrist Obama To Take Stage, by Peter Nicholas and Christi Parsons, Tribune Washington Bureau. President Obama plans to use his State of the Union speech Tuyesday to articulate a centrist vision that will shape the remaining two years of his term, and provide a template for his re-eelction campaign." Similar reports appeared in "news" media nationwide.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In one of the most blatant examples of unmitigated propaganda ever seen in America, Tribune newspapers has dared to call the person currently in the White House a centrist in a headline setting the stage for the State of the Union speech tomorrow. Despite outrageously leftist moves in recent weeks and for the past two years, the man whose actions and self-avowed principles border on direct marxism is described as a moderate. The move is likely to influence many people who cannot think straight but are still able to vote.

“Perhaps the editors forgot about his centerpiece health-care takeover, which could only be enacted through chicanery, or all the bills he signed during the lame-politician session just a few weeks ago,” says one unidentified source who refused to be identified. “It's possible,” she said. She referred to the spate of bills enacted by legislators voted out of office before they were actually out of office, and signed by Mr. Obama last month.

According to the olden Constitution, a primary purpose of the speech planned for Tuesday is to give Congress a report on the State of the Union. No mention of any such content was made in "news" announcements, which were mere repetitions of handouts given or leaked from inside the White House, and the apparent source of the word "centrist." No reporters asked about the constitutional element of the speech, and none are expected to ask about it after the speech.

In other news, despite assurances from the new governor of Hawaii to out the sitting president, no new information has been released regarding Mr. Obama's birth certificate, which remains a closely guarded secret, if it exists at all. “The entire controversy can be washed away clean and easy with one simple move," said The Uninvited Ombudsman. “Just show the birth certificate. I can't imagine why he wouldn't do that and end the problem,” the mild-mannered media watchdog said.

The administration has released a piece of modern computer-generated paper that claims a Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii, but it is not an actual birth certificate. The hospital where the birth supposedly took place remains a mystery, along with the doctor who supposedly presided over the delivery. Neither the doctor nor the hospital are indicated on the paper the White House approved for release, which has satisfied many people who support the person currently in the White House.