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« January 2007 | Main | March 2007 »

Special report: Global whining

The recent Paris IPCC report on taking the planet's temperature -- and the political and media frenzy surrounding it -- force me to examine so-called "global warming" in a special edition of Page Nine. Long-time readers may recognize some of these arguments, because they remain valid. The overall picture they paint is important.


The true root problem in Global Whining is sex. People keep having sex, so they keep popping out babies, so a whole class of problems just gets worse. Any warming (or cooling) being placed under a microscope is not the core problem. This isn't about climate control, it's about climax control.

No government is going to address this. Well, the communist Chinese did in horrific fashion, but we're not going to go there.

Every time you add another billion people, each at 98.6 degrees, things naturally get hotter. Fuel gets used up. More lights get turned on. The demand for fried chicken swells, and chicken poop drainage swells with it. Sex. Don't forget it. Calls to control everything else miss the only key factor.

Continue reading "Special report: Global whining" »

Special guest columnist report: Anna Nicole who?

Anna Nicole, Milton Friedman and Joan Collins who?
By Craig J. Cantoni

When the media announced the death of Anna Nicole Smith, I had to ask my wife who she was. In retrospect, it would have been better not to know. And when I learned the same week that hundreds of Scottsdale women had lined up at the Barnes & Noble near my house for a book signing by Joan Collins, I had to ask who she was, and again regretted asking.

Nobel Prize winner Milton Friedman died recently. There were tributes to him in the media, but nothing like the incessant coverage of Anna Nicole Smith, whose claim to fame was posing naked, mooching off an old guy, taking drugs, gaining weight, losing weight, wearing so much mascara that she looked like a raccoon, and having the intelligence of a -- well, never mind.

By contrast, Friedman’s claim to fame was developing an economics theory and a libertarian political philosophy that lifted countless millions of people out of poverty.

I wonder how many Scottsdale women would have shown up if Friedman had held a book signing for his masterpiece, Monetary History of the United States, 1867-1960, which he co-authored with Anna Jacobsen Schwartz, whose first name and gender were the only things the brilliant woman had in common with the other Anna. The book showed that government monetary policy is what actually triggered the Great Depression.

I also wonder how many Scottsdale women would have shown up if Friedman and his equally brilliant wife Rose had held a book signing for the insightful book they co-authored, Free to Choose: A Personal Statement. For sure, few public school teachers would have shown up -- given their animus towards Friedman, who was the father of school vouchers.

His book gives example after example of how free markets and free choice help mankind, and how government control and restricted choice hurt mankind, a lesson that city councils and most of Congress haven’t learned -- to the detriment of us all.

Yes, free markets and free choice allow people to spend their time and money watching inane coverage of Anna Nicole Smith and buying a fluff book by Joan Collins. But they also allow smart, industrious, creative and entrepreneurial people to be successful and thus raise the standard of living for everyone else.

Thank goodness we live in a country where there are enough of the second kind of people to compensate for the first kind of people.

An author and consultant, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at

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Colder Warming Worsens

The lamestream media told you:
Sub-zero cold blanketed the northeast, following severe snowstorms in the nation’s midsection, plus eight feet of snow in New York, and is blamed for numerous deaths.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The timing of the freezing weather is very bad, coming as it does on the heels of the Paris “science” conference held to add legitimacy to global warming theories that are in vogue. No explanation for the discrepancy has been issued, but cynics expect at least some “authorities” to blame the cold on heat-trapping “greenhouse” gases.

The warming effect of running six billion heaters, at 98.6 degrees, 24 hours a day for an average of 70 years each, has not been factored into the equations. A Page Nine Special Report on Global Whining will be released shortly.


Tax Is Tax

The lamestream media told you:
President Bush remains firm on his commitment to not increase taxes, but plans to raise $81 billion by adjusting fees for a variety of services, according to the McClatchy chain of papers and wire services.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
If your government gets money and it comes from you, it’s taxation. Watchdog groups like newspaper chains have lately preferred to disguise this for the public for an unknown reason. Critics charge it is propaganda designed to mislead sheeple and the ignorant. Reporters could not be reached for comment.

To hide taxes, they are now referred to as fees, user fees, tariffs, subsidies, subsidy reductions, benefit reductions, allocations, allotments, allowances, decreased allowances, rate surcharges, funding, stipends, costs, cost of living increases, adjustments for inflation, ramp ups, planned expansions, withholdings, FICA payments, add-ons, hikes, charges on taxpayers, regulations, licenses, wage and labor rules, and revenue generators.

“Technically, these aren’t taxes,” McClatchy reports. Right.

“Technically, this is not reporting,” says The Uninvited Ombudsman. No ethics-violation charges are expected.

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Illegals’ Crimes Recognized

Illegals’ Crimes Recognized

“Many White supremacists blame immigrants, particularly Hispanics, for crime, struggling schools or unemployment,” reports Erin Texeira for the Associated Press on 2/6/07.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Are people, including stereotyped racists, blaming illegals for problems, or just recognizing obvious problems?

Law enforcement officials, politicians, government bureaucrats, the “news” media, school administrators and the public at large have long been keenly aware that crime, struggling schools and unemployment problems are fueled in large measure by illegal Hispanic immigrants who have snuck into the country and are siphoning off resources, creating problems, committing crimes and protesting.

The AP reporter must have singled out White supremacist groups to suggest they are about as bright as everyone else.

Prison populations, English-language learner programs and day laborers clogging parking lots and street corners stand as hard evidence of the problem White supremacists are now credited with recognizing, according to geniuses at the Associated Press.

In other news, illegal Hispanics in the U.S., estimated to number at least 30 million, are largely Christian, and will turn out to be valuable allies against Muslim islamofascists, who are stepping up efforts to trash American culture and institute a global jihadi caliphate here, as they are succeeding in doing in Europe.

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Racial Teen Pregnancies

The lamestream media told you:
“Even as teen pregnancy rates have declined across the country over the past decade, the teen pregnancy rates among Latinos remains high,” reports Gannett’s number two paper (after USA Today), The Arizona Republic.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Teen pregnancy rates among Latinos are not remaining high, they are increasing dramatically, according to the chart printed with the story. Why reporters would whitewash the text when the actual numbers are provided is not known. The suggestion that Americans can’t understand numbers cannot possibly be correct.

Race-based reporting is now an accepted cultural norm and form of diversity for multiculti lamestream reporters.

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Immigrants Hate Immigrants

The lamestream media told you:
Under pressure from Washington, Mexican authorities are cracking down on South Americans who sneak up through Mexico to sneak into the United States. Civil rights groups fear the immigrants are being treated poorly by Mexicans, and crammed into overcrowded cells.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
A rumor that Mexico is running out of lower-class people it can export to the United States, after exporting millions a year for decades by sneaking them across the border illegally, could not be confirmed. The Mexican elite class is doing quite well, according to most economic indicators.

The 30 million illegal immigrants estimated to have already been snuck into this country amounts to approximately one third of the entire Mexican population.

Budget Corruption Overlooked

The lamestream media told you:
President Bush’s proposed $2.9 trillion federal budget is (pick one, based on what you typically read:) a disaster, ingenious, will work, will fail, depends on luck, is too high, too low, spends money in the wrong place) and likely to meet stiff resistance in the Democrat Congress.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Most state’s reporters included a column about how much money their own state would “get” from the federal budget, and generally complained it was too little, even if it was an increase from last year.

No reporters mentioned that if the federal government hadn’t taken all that money from the public in the first place, states wouldn’t have to “get” it back for social services, roads, schools and all the other expenses government has adopted.

Reporters failed to mention that it costs a fortune for the central federal authorities to take all that money from the people as taxes and withholdings. They then spend and lose a fortune while “managing” it all year long. They also use up and spend a fortune giving the money back to the states they took it from.

It’s hard for the average person to imagine how wealthy we’d all be if the government didn’t take so much in the first place. Reporters refused repeated requests to report on it.

None of the interest the feds make on all that money they take (and bank) goes back to the people they took it from.

It is highly questionable whether most of the expenditures of those billions of dollars are authorized by the Constitution, a point overlooked by lamestream reporters in their rush to complain that they are not getting enough back.

According to economics expert and frequent Page Nine guest columnist Craig Cantoni, nearly 60% of the federal budget now is redistributions -- taken from the public and given away to people and uses deemed worthy by the bureaucrats in charge. No arrests have been made.

“Pikes,” says Cantoni, “we need heads on pikes to slow down the theft and redistribution the government is calling a budget.”

The leader of the black congressional caucus, a race-based group within Congress, that calls itself non-partisan, publicly announced its intention to get on the right committees and get that money for their constituents, a completely unAmerican position, challenged by no reporters. Rumored charges of ethics violations have not materialized.

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Tracking Plutonium Shipments

The lamestream media told you:
Nancy Pelosi has made the nation safer by quickly enacting recommendations made by the unbiased non-partisan Iraq study group.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Shipments of bomb-grade uranium and plutonium are tracked by U.S. agents from the CIA, according to Congressman Rick Renzi (R-Ariz.). Under the Pelosi bill, Renzi notes that this authority is transferred away from us and to the United Nations. A quick review of the bill confirms the shift to the U.N. is buried in a mass of new WMD procedural changes.

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Toys For Police

The lamestream media told you:
In order to reduce violence, protect the innocent, and fight rampant corruption in Mexico, Mexican federales confiscated all firearms from the police in Tijuana.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The National Shooting Sports Foundation has circulated news that the Tijuana, Mexico, police department has issued about 60 slingshots to officers whose guns were confiscated. I am not making this up.

The city's 2,000 police officers have been without guns since Jan. 5, when their firearms were confiscated amid allegations that corrupt officers were supporting drug traffickers. How the 1,940 officers without slingshots will cope was not covered.

No news was issued on whether U.S. police would have their guns changed to slingshots to address allegations that some corrupt officers here support the drug trade.

Critics note that the entire U.S. war on some drugs supports the drug trade, with price supports and a system that makes every drug available in every city in America. "In the war on drugs, the problem isn't the drugs, it's the war," says one critic on condition of anonymity.

To get on the excellent NSSF news list, visit NSSF sponsors “First Shots,” a program that introduces newcomers to the joys, excitement and wholesome fun of the shooting sports.

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About the Author

  • Freelance writer Alan Korwin is a founder and past president of the Arizona Book Publishing Association. With his wife Cheryl he operates Bloomfield Press, the largest producer and distributor of gun-law books in the country. Here writing as "The Uninvited Ombudsman," Alan covers the day's stories as they ought to read. Read more.

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