Sign up to receive Alan's newsletter by email.

Speaking engagements

  • Invite Alan Korwin to speak at your event! Thought-provoking, entertaining, freedom-oriented topics -- your guests will thank you for the excitement -- long after the applause ends!


« March 2008 | Main | May 2008 »

Correction: Parker Gun Case

I've just learned that some people complained about this line from "Parker Gun Case":

"Asked why the change was made, an insider with knowledge of the case suggests, "D.C. has switched to Heller probably because Parker is an African-American female and Heller is a less sympathetic figure as a white male. Our side will probably keep the name Parker when responding to the D.C. cert petition, and ultimately, it'll be up to the Supremes."

My info came from a reliable source but it shows my own lack of understanding. While the reason above has a certain appeal and describes an ugly and not uncommon politic, it had nothing to do with the case as I later learned and never got around to posting. Parker was found to not have proper standing, her fear of threats was held insufficient. Heller however had applied for and been denied a handgun permit, and was thus sufficiently aggrieved to bring the case. The name of the case then took D.C. first, since the practice is to name the petitioner first. This once again proves I'm human, despite the rumors to the contrary.

Special Guest Columnist Eric ".44 Magnum" Cartridge on -- "Taking Gun Virgins for a Desert Shoot"

My line of work as a producer of advertising, photo shoots and television commercials brings me in contact with people from all over the world. They come to Arizona all winter for our consistent sunshine and great natural beauty. Many of my clients are from New York, California, England, Canada and other places not known for their tolerance of guns and gun owners. The right to keep and bear arms is legendary in the American West but equally alien in less enlightened parts of the world, and often the subject of guns comes up in conversation while we are driving around the state looking at filming (shooting?) locations.

A couple of weeks ago I was working with a New York City-based client on a fashion catalog, and the photographer said, "Eric, what's the deal with guns out here? I hear lots of people have guns in Arizona." I replied, "Of course we do, don't you have guns in New York?" (knowing full well that most New Yorkers of course don't).

He responded that he didn't have a gun. Then he carefully asked if I did.

"Well of course I own guns," I said, feigning surprise at the question.

"How many guns do you have?" he asked, with eyebrows raised, and I nonchalantly told him I had about 30 or so, but I hadn't exactly counted them in a while.

Continue reading "Special Guest Columnist Eric ".44 Magnum" Cartridge on -- "Taking Gun Virgins for a Desert Shoot"" »

Decades of Trial

The lamestream media told you:

"Jury starts deliberating today in 1984 Tempe murder case." Robert Ortloff is accused of bludgeoning and strangling the woman before burning the body. The case rests heavily on testimony of a "famous jailhouse snitch," a former Atlanta prosecutor.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

"In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial..."


It's Not China

The lamestream media told you:

China is having a crisis over the Olympic games to be held in China this summer. Chinese officials denounced pro-Tibet demonstrators saying the internal affairs of China should not affect the games.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Communist China is having a crisis over the Olympic games to be held in Communist China this summer. Pro-Tibet demonstrators denounced Communist Chinese officials saying the brutal suppression of Tibet should directly affect the games.

Tags: , ,

Study Attacks Newspapers

The lamestream media told you:

"Newspapers faulted for errors, dramatizing"

"To regain public trust, newspapers need to do a better job of editing out misspellings and misquotes, curb the use of unnamed sources, and resist the temptation to sensationalize, a study suggests," reports Deb Reichmann of the AP.

The American Society of Newspaper Editors released its study on why newspaper credibility is on the decline. "We've got to cut down on the errors," ASNE president Ed Seaton said. The study is part of a three-year project to find out why the public has lost confidence in newspapers.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

"It ain't about spelling errors," says one unidentifiable newsman. "And what's a 'misquote'? Is that where someone says something, and the paper says something different?"

The report, uncovered in a deep stack of clippings at the Uninvited Ombudsman's office, is from Dec., 1998. Hmmm.


Campaign Finance Deform

The lamestream media told you:

Barack H. Obama raised $40 million in March, as he "continued to display unrivaled prowess for fundraising," according to unbylined wire-service reports. This is double the amount raised by Hillary Clinton, and lower than the $55 million raised by Obama in February. McCain raised $11 million in February, and "more" in March, with actual figures not yet available.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

No corrections have been issued concerning the Campaign Finance Reform Act, widely promoted in the "news" media for its ability to remove money from politics. Instead, "reporters" are covering money-raising like it's some kind of horse race, leaving no room for questioning candidates on their positions. The source of the multi-millions was not disclosed.

Tags: , , ,

Preposterous Border Fencing

The lamestream media told you:

Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff is being attacked by critics for using his authority to bypass "37 environmental-, historic- and cultural-protection laws" that stand in the way of building a partial fence along the U.S.-Mexico border.

In other news, high-tech fencing planned by Boeing and others is a complete disaster, with extensive deployments failing to operate as promised. Spokespersons have indicated it will take another three years to make the system work and get it up. Sen. John McCain called it, "a disgrace."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Say what? There are how many laws interfering with the defense of our border? These laws were enacted by who exactly? It's going to take how long to make a camera-and-sensor system work that physically blocks no one? What private business would tolerate a three-year delay in any project of any kind, let alone one that affects national security?

The reporter on the story above, Sean Holstege of Gannett's Arizona Republic, reports two days later that the Minutemen are on the border for their April muster, and the two groups are relaying detailed accurate information to Border Patrol agents, using store-bought walkie-talkies, and a new technological marvel called a cell phone, a sort of phone that works entirely without wires.

"The small scale operations may seem quaint," Holstege writes, "but the border groups maintain that their cameras, which transmit wirelessly to the web, have led to the arrest of hundreds of border crossers in recent months." The Border Patrol welcomes the non-intrusive, non-confrontational assistance of the citizen volunteers, according to the story. Officially, the government doesn't approve of actions it does not control, and which make it look bad.

"Federal officials said they haven't seen the volunteer cameras and couldn't comment," two obvious lies, carefully reported by Holstege.

Anyone with a fast web connection can volunteer to work the remote cameras from their homes, anywhere in the country. A similar Homeland Security plan, "Project 28," was delayed for eight months by technical glitches with satellite uplinks.

The lengthy story, full of interesting details, fails to identify how a person can volunteer, but does point out that a full Minuteman deployment on the 1,950-mile border could cost as little as $40 million, while the government system, which doesn't work, is estimated at $1.2 billion, before cost overruns, additional delays and routine snafus.

The story:

To volunteer:

Tags: ,

Government Workers Superior

The lamestream media told you:

"People turn out to pay last respects to deceased firefighter." Civil servants and others line route as fire truck carries the casket of the fallen Captain. The color photo ran large, above the fold, on page one of the Local news section. Similar stories run in newspapers nationwide with some frequency.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

By glorifying the death of a single government worker, newspapers reinforce the idea that we are not all equal. Any death can be tragic, but a reason to promote one over another is hard to justify, unless unusual bravery and extenuating circumstances exist.

Merely publicizing a death because the person was an official on a government payroll, instead of an average citizen who pays those bills, violates several ethical principles. The employee in this case was waiting for a second kidney transplant, and died at his desk.

Reporters, who generally do not divulge this fact, are encouraged to use "official sources" in gathering, compiling and verifying "news" stories, believing it is somehow superior to other sources. This often leads to government pronouncements, edicts, and glorifications appearing where the news is supposed to go. Other funerals were reportedly held the same day. The obituary section was two pages long and packed with small type and small grayish photos.

Solarpanel Trumps Trees

The lamestream media told you:

Richard Treanor and Carolynn Bissett of Sunnyvale, Calif., were criminally prosecuted because their redwood trees cast a shadow over their neighbor's solar panels. They lost the case and had to have the trees chopped down, after the judge in the case ordered them removed. The trees had been planted before the solar panels were installed, but grew.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Just when it seems Californians cannot get any more bizarre, they prove me wrong. I apologize for being so naive.

Holster Shoots Gun

The lamestream media told you:

The investigation into the cause of a gunshot on the flight deck of a US Airways plane is ongoing, will look at every possible facet of the incident, and may take a while.

"This is an extremely safe and reliable weapon, " said Greg Alter of the Federal Air Marshal Service. "It's not going to discharge on its own, is the bottom line."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Someone needs to tell the expert quoted above by Mitch Weiss of the AP, and Weiss too who failed to question the expert, that no gun of any kind discharges on its own. If that's where the investigation is going, taxpayers can brace for another multi-million dollar, 300-page study that is a waste of slain trees.

Saving taxpayers and government experts the time, everyone with a web connection has already seen my friend Paul Huebl's video of the likely cause -- hopelessly faulty design by bureaucrats doing everything they can to scuttle and impede the program.

Here's the problem -- the lock and holster design, required by TSA, and the rules for using it, are an accident waiting to happen. Here's Paul (of in Calif. with the FFDO rig, showing how it can fire when the lock is attached. Congrats, Paul, on the zillions of hits your simple video has garnered.

You can buy this holster yourself:
"F.D.O. with lock hole", model #31L

Tags: , ,

Read what people are saying about Page Nine, or tell Alan yourself.

See the archives below, or click through to an index of Page Nine posts at

About the Author

  • Freelance writer Alan Korwin is a founder and past president of the Arizona Book Publishing Association. With his wife Cheryl he operates Bloomfield Press, the largest producer and distributor of gun-law books in the country. Here writing as "The Uninvited Ombudsman," Alan covers the day's stories as they ought to read. Read more.

Recent Comments

Read the last 100 comments on one handy page here!