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Obama and Paulson to give free alcohol to alcoholics

By Special Guest Columnist Craig J. Cantoni

Joining with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, President-elect Barack Obama has announced new hope and change for alcoholics.

"The federal government is going to give alcoholics all of the liquor they want," said Obama yesterday from his president-elect office, standing behind a lectern emblazoned with his president-elect seal of office. In a demonstration of bipartisan cooperation, a red-nosed Paulson stood unsteadily by his side, holding a pint of Jack Daniels in one hand and pint of Wild Turkey in the other.

"Here's to you, Barack baby," said Paulson as he took a swig from the Jack Daniels bottle.

Earlier, Obama had announced that as soon as he officially takes office and is the real chancellor instead of the de facto one, he was going to address the American addiction to debt and credit by giving Americans a stimulus package of more debt and credit.

Not to be outdone, the Bush administration announced that it was going to establish a consumer credit facility to finance credit cards, car loans and mortgages. Americans should start receiving credit card solicitations within a week from the U.S. Treasury, which will issue them through its new subsidiary, Citibank. The cards will be financed by the communist Chinese government, which has a lot of money, due to a savings rate in communist China of almost 50 percent.

Some economists reacted negatively to the news, saying that easy money is what caused the housing bubble and subsequent financial meltdown in the first place. They have not been heard from since. There are rumors that Obama, borrowing a page from his idol FDR, has convinced the Bush administration to send the unpatriotic and disloyal economists to internment camps, as FDR did to Japanese Americans. Instead of building new camps in the desert, however, Obama plans to use the existing camp at Guantanamo once it is emptied of terrorists.

Mainstream reporters have been enthusiastically supporting Obama's economic plans, perhaps because they are mindful of how another Democrat icon, Woodrow Wilson, handled press criticism during the First World War: He threatened the press with imprisonment and actually jailed one recalcitrant editor for sedition under his Espionage Act. That might explain the media's double standard in characterizing Republicans as right-wing extremists who violate civil liberties but not characterizing Democrats the same way.

Of course, since 90 percent of Americans have been educated and reeducated in government schools under the tutelage of three million members of the National Education Association (aka teachers union), 90 percent of Americans only know the leftist version of history and economics.

Incidentally, the NEA, which supported Obama, has a list of recommended books on its website. At the top of the list is Rules for Radicals, the book by the radical Jewish-Russian anti-capitalist, Saul Alinsky, who was a mentor to Obama. The other books on the list are of the same genre. Books on liberty and free markets didn't make the list.

Clueless Republican soccer moms and dads love their public schools, completely oblivious to the values, beliefs and worldview brought into the classroom by the NEA. Fearing imprisonment at Guantanamo for disloyalty, the press has not connected the dots for the parents, especially the dot of Alinsky with the dot of the NEA with the dot of Obama. It's just a big dot con.

Understanding that the economic policies of Obama et al. will result in hyperinflation and the debasement of the dollar, self-educated Americans have been trying to buy gold coins, only to discover that none are available -- the US Mint and other mints have not kept up with demand. Could it be because their governments know that a shift to gold exposes the fact that they have been printing fiat money to hide their economic frauds?

Sigh! I need a stiff drink. Secretary Paulson, please pass the Wild Turkey.

An author and columnist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at


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About the Author

  • Freelance writer Alan Korwin is a founder and past president of the Arizona Book Publishing Association. With his wife Cheryl he operates Bloomfield Press, the largest producer and distributor of gun-law books in the country. Here writing as "The Uninvited Ombudsman," Alan covers the day's stories as they ought to read. Read more.

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