Sign up to receive Alan's newsletter by email.

Speaking engagements

  • Invite Alan Korwin to speak at your event! Thought-provoking, entertaining, freedom-oriented topics -- your guests will thank you for the excitement -- long after the applause ends!


« May 2009 | Main | July 2009 »

Schools Can Work

The lamestream media told you:

"Spitting in the eye of mainstream education - Charter Schools Indoctrinate Students in Bizarre, Out-of-the-Mainstream Ideologies and Discredited Theories" --LA Times

[The LAT headline reader apparently didn't read their story before drafting that headline:]

"OAKLAND -- Not many schools in California recruit teachers with language like this: 'We are looking for hard working people who believe in free market capitalism... Multicultural specialists, ultra liberal zealots and college-tainted oppression liberators need not apply...'"

"It would be easy to dismiss American Indian Public Charter as one of the nuttier offshoots of the fast-growing charter school movement, which allows schools to receive public funding but operate outside of day-to-day district oversight. But the schools command attention for one very simple reason: By standard measures, they are among the very best in California."

On a scale of 1000, Calif. average scores are 750, 650 for low-income kids, and -- 967 for this school.

"So what are they doing? The short answer is that it attracts academically motivated students, relentlessly (and unapologetically) teaches to the test, wrings more seat time out of every school day, hires smart young teachers, demands near-perfect attendance, piles on the homework, refuses to promote struggling students to the next grade and keeps discipline so tight that there are no distractions or disruptions.",0,7064053.story

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

I can't add to this. How did it ever get into the LA Times, perpetually devoted to promoting touchy-feely education-free uber-liberal squishiness that has demolished education in the nation?

Environmental Hoax Proof

The lamestream media told you:

The environment is on the verge of collapse, the human race could be wiped out, species will go extinct, we must prepare ourselves for drastic changes to our lifestyles and global government controls and taxes, like the wonderful cap-and-trade plan that just squeaked through the House, to avert imminent disaster. There's no time to waste, the situation is completely desperate. Please expect the same message tomorrow.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The Obama cap-and-trade plan is a clever tax on EVERYTHING, which will force all Americans to live up to government standards instead of to a free choice of their own. It has gained support of the thoroughly corrupted media under the guise of saving the world. Unmentioned in the plan is that America represents only 3% of the world's population. The other 97% is not under the plan. Hmmmm.

The experts in this field have been slightly less than forthright in the matter:

"We've got to ride this global warming issue. Even if the theory of global warming is wrong, we will be doing the right thing in terms of economic and environmental policy." - Timothy Wirth, President of the UN Foundation

Two Sources:,


"No matter if the science of global warming is all phony, climate change provides the greatest opportunity to bring about justice and equality in the world." - Christine Stewart, former Canadian Minister of the Environment

Two Sources:,


"The only way to get our society to truly change is to frighten people with the possibility of a catastrophe." - emeritus professor Daniel Botkin

Two Sources:,


"We need to get some broad based support, to capture the public's imagination. So we have to offer up scary scenarios, make simplified, dramatic statements and make little mention of any doubts. Each of us has to decide what the right balance is between being effective and being honest." - Stephen Schneider, Stanford Professor of Climatology, lead author of many IPCC reports

Two Sources:,


"It doesn't matter what is true, it only matters what people believe is true." - Paul Watson, co-founder of Greenpeace

Two Sources:,


"Childbearing should be a punishable crime against society, unless the parents hold a government license. All potential parents should be required to use contraceptive chemicals, the government issuing antidotes to citizens chosen for childbearing." - David Brower, first Executive Director of the Sierra Club

Two Sources:,


"Global Sustainability requires the deliberate quest of poverty, reduced resource consumption and set levels of mortality control." -Professor Maurice King

Two Sources:,


"Giving society cheap, abundant energy would be the equivalent of giving an idiot child a machine gun." - Prof Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University

Two Sources:,


, , , ,

Gun Law Update - SPECIAL - Don't miss National Training Week, July 4 - 11, 2009

June 7, 2009

I'm real short on time, have a plane to catch in a few hours, but I want to get the word out.

The week of July 4th is being established as National Training Week, when Americans celebrate their freedom with firearms at the nation's shooting ranges. "Good Americans Are Good Marksmen." Perfect time to bring a newcomer to the range for an experience, and to exercise your freedom. Participating ranges offer free handgun rentals, special classes, go out and ask your local range to participate if they're not. (They'll probably say, "Never heard of it," that's OK, it's all described here, print it and give it to them):

Arizona Congressman John Shadegg has endorsed the idea, along with Gun Owners of America, The Second Amendment Foundation, many others, all posted at that link. Sorry I don't have more time. You want to do something to defend your rights? Visit your range and motivate them.

If you can't see the Congressman's letter below, use this link:

Obama Fried Chicken

The lamestream media told you:

Back in April, the NY Daily News (and many others) reported on a controversy that erupted when several NY city restaurants renamed themselves "Obama Fried Chicken." Mayor Bloomberg said they should find a more appropriate name. Others joined in denouncing the name, calling it racist and perpetuating a stereotype.

"Why name it that? Just because Obama is black, they're going to put his name on a fried chicken place in a black neighborhood?" said one upset neighbor. "Some critics found it distasteful that a business would try to make a profit from a historic election," according to the paper.

The staff and owners say it pays homage: "Basically, the owner loves Obama," said Mohammad Jabbar, 33, manager of the Brownsville store. "He loves him seriously. He supports him." The Harlem location reported brisk business, with one patron saying the name would be better, "If it was a fancy restaurant."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

First, it is deplorable how so many Americans think it's their business to decide what you can say or name your property.

Second, the Democrats local celebration of Obama's 100th day in office, which I attended, featured several local politicians, attracted about 40 people, and served fried chicken wings and watermelon. I am not making this up. Biggest frickin chicken wings I have ever seen, like chickens from the lost lagoon, I could barely fit two on my plate.

Finally, the 100-day review sponsored by the Republicans, which I also attended, featured Hugh Hewitt, Michael Medved, Mike Gallagher, and attracted 1,500 people. No food was served.

Years back I started writing a book called "Stereotypes Are Real," but so many people gave me a hard time and mean looks when I described their stereotypes that I abandoned the project.

, ,

Sotomayor Gets Nod

The lamestream media told you:

The Washington Post reported on page one that Obama, while nearing his selection for a new Supreme Court nominee, was "conferring with a circle of advisers but is heavily involved in his own review as a lawyer who loves constitutional law."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Whatever the Post meant with its aggrandizing editorial phrase, "a lawyer who loves constitutional law," the word "Constitution" did not appear in any of Mr. Obama's reported remarks while selecting a Supreme Court Justice to fill an open seat.

The president's quoted adjectives describing his preferences include: common touch, practical sense, empathy, feeling, stand in somebody else's shoes, see through their eyes, practical day-to-day living, practical matter, how regulations might effect the business in a practical way, intellectual firepower, and not just ivory tower learning.

After selecting the most left-leaning candidate on his short list, he added the candidate should have, "an understanding of how the world works," "How ordinary people live," should bring "experience tested by obstacles and barriers," as well as by "hardship and misfortune," and especially, "experience insisting, persisting, and ultimately overcoming those barriers." This amounts to "necessary ingredients in the kind of Justice we need."

Previously, Supreme Court nominations involved terms such as qualifications, history, track record, precedent, stare decisis, original intent, original meaning, originalism, scholarship, textual analysis, Founding Fathers, drafters, framers and rule of law.

"Love of constitutional law" also seems unlikely to describe Mr. Obama's legislative proposals, which include one bill after another with little if any apparent grounding in the Constitution. That document provides no authority, for example, to take over the practice of medicine, or for taking tax money from the public and giving it away to companies that are poorly run or on the verge of bankruptcy.

Deemed "bailouts" by the administration and their staunch allies in the press, these have turned out to be "buyouts," with the government exercising increasing socialist controls over entire sectors of the U.S. economy, hurting Americans everywhere, also unthinkable under the Constitution Mr. Obama reportedly loves.

Perhaps the truth is buried in a song lyric, "You only hurt the ones you love."

Enacted under a threat of financial doom, only 2.4% of the buyout money ($19B out of $787B) has actually been spent now three months after passage. This has caused some observers not in the press to question the dire warnings that forbade reading or understanding the bills' contents, effects or need before signing. "The world was going to collapse into chaos if we didn't immediately enact the buyout," one observer with a memory recalls. "Now, the president is just sitting on the biggest slush fund the world has even seen. When will he actually spend it, and on what? No one knows."

, ,

Swallowing Industries Whole

The lamestream media told you:

Tom Krisher, writing for the AP reports: "Obama's Rules Will Make Small Efficient Cars the Norm"

"Higher mileage and emissions standards set by the Obama administration on Tuesday, which begin to take effect in 2012 and are to be achieved by 2016, will transform the American car and truck fleet.

"Nearly everybody will drive smaller cars, and more of them will run on electricity."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Tom Krisher of the Associated Press, writing with no independent thought apparent in his "report" of a government edict, effectively sanctified another government power grab over independent business in the United States. He carefully detailed the government proclamation, abandoning the skepticism that is critical to a reporter's code of ethics.

Missing is the fact that, with no apparent constitutional authority, the current president is dictating manufacturing standards to an entire industry. The media covered the government proclamation unchallenged.

The president cannot legitimately decree what sort of cars Americans can buy, but this has had little effect on the current administration or its complicit "news" media admirers. The media denies such claims.

"Smaller cars, lighter cars, cars with less impact resistance, this equates directly to more dead Americans, but the Obama administration could care less," says one observer who was not quoted by the press. Radio talk-show hosts have made the point repeatedly, though lamestream reports have failed to make the point at all.

"Green" advocates are reportedly thrilled at the news, effortlessly trading human lives for protection of something called "the environment," a fantastical representation of the place where all of us live, or die, in small, cheap, lightweight cars, designed to comply with the undocumented president's unconstitutional wishes.

Continue reading "Swallowing Industries Whole" »

Pimping Your Ride

The lamestream media told you:

Among the valuable features in new consumer products, GPS units are now displaying tourist attractions, making travel much more enjoyable. With the new feature you won't miss sights, and can get from one to another efficiently.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The sale of tourist attraction ads on GPS units created a stir today, as freedom advocates questioned whether cars programmed to favor advertised sites was an actual benefit. "It will advance the over-commercialization of our lives, direct people to government-approved tax-rich targets, reduce traffic to local wonders and countryside flavor, and help hide America's heartland or anything off the beaten path," according to one knowledgeable observer whose comments did not appear in any "news" reports. "It's bad enough that cars now come with TV screens so kids don't have to look out the windows," he said. "Programmed cars pose a creepy imposition on your freedom to travel."

Like TV sets, email, Facebook, Blackberries, iPhones and other forms of communication technology, most people find turning the tools off after they're installed difficult. Verrrry difficult.

Criminal Smoker Glorified

The lamestream media told you:

Police in Lincoln, Nebraska, are seeking a man whole stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton over his head... Police say the bandit left with nine packs of cigarettes valued at nearly $50.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In further signs that the "news" media is deteriorating faster than expected, a theft by an apparent moron appeared recently in newspapers as far as 1,000 miles away from the site of the event. "That's just not news," said one observer. The theft of nine packs of cigarettes, valued by an unidentified police spokespersonmanwoman at less than $50, also showed the abusive nature of government which, through taxes and other manipulations, has raised the cost for a pack of smokes from about a quarter to nearly five bucks. Street values for other government-managed consumer drugs remains stable.

The story mentioned the carton mask was from Bud Light, prompting skeptics to wonder if Bud Light publicists actually pitched the piece to the highly gullible AP wire service. "You can't buy national exposure like that," said no one willing to be identified.

Hollywood Hypocrisy Hyped

The lamestream media told you:

The producers of Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire are hoping to change the lives of some real-life children living in the horrific Mumbai slums where the film was made. The filmmakers announced they would donate about $740,000 to create a wonderful five-year program aimed at providing healthcare and education for children.

"Having benefited so much from the hospitality of the people of Mumbai it is only right that some of the success of the movie be ploughed back into the city in areas where it is needed most and where it can make a real difference to some lives," director Danny Boyle said in People magazine.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Using an olden investigative tool called a "calculator," we find that the 5,000 children in the benefit program will share about $148,000 per year, or 8¢ per day. It was not clear at press time if all that money would be ploughed into food, health care, education or all three, or how much food 8¢ buys in Mumbai. Marie Staunton, head of the outfit that will administer the fund said, "Education really is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty so we will focus the funds on getting children into school, keeping them there and ensuring they are healthy." Staunton's salary was not announced.

On May 15, the Philadelphia Inquirer noted the film grossed $326 million, making the generous donation just over two-tenths of a single percent. Most churches seek a full 10% from their parishioners' earnings, or 50 times more than the Hollywood moguls decided to plough into the horrific Mumbai slums that made them the hundreds of millions of dollars. Gross.

Drug Cartels Promoted

The lamestream media told you:

A purported top leader of Mexico's Sinaloa drug cartel was in police custody, as authorities extended a cross-border crackdown on the gang that has included the arrest of 755 of its members in the U.S., according to the Associated Press.

"This significantly affects the organization's ability to operate and distribute drugs," said Ricardo Cabrera, who runs the terrorism and drug-trafficking unit in Mexico's federal attorney general's office.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

There was jubilation in border towns across Mexico, as a continuing wave of U.S-Mexican drug-policy arrests have provided new job and advancement opportunities for second tier workers and management in the lucrative international drug business. The industry is thriving despite the economic downturn, partially due to its historically low taxation.

"Some of these top leaders would stay in power forever, if not for the work of the federales and DEA," said one lieutenant, now a colonel in charge of customized smuggling vehicles, speaking through a translator on condition of anonymity. "The arrests provide upward mobility and opportunities for promotions we could not otherwise get against these bullies who run the cartels. Now it's our turn. Tell Mr. Cabrera, gracias."

In other news, drug prices and supplies remained stable on world markets, according to street reports. Calls for an end to the drug war, a cease fire or an armistice to reduce the war deaths, and dismantling the expensive ineffectual infrastructure for the war on some drugs fell on deaf ears, as usual. "Do you know how many government jobs would be lost if we ended this war?" asked one government worker who preferred to remain anonymous. Calls to the DEA for comment were not returned.

In other news, the mayors of ten Mexican towns were just rounded up as part of a drug-related corruption sting. The mayors may have been part of a "silver or lead" scheme, where participants get rich on silver from the cartels, or have two pieces of lead forcibly inserted into their skulls. Seconds in command will take over until the next election cycle.


Read what people are saying about Page Nine, or tell Alan yourself.

See the archives below, or click through to an index of Page Nine posts at

About the Author

  • Freelance writer Alan Korwin is a founder and past president of the Arizona Book Publishing Association. With his wife Cheryl he operates Bloomfield Press, the largest producer and distributor of gun-law books in the country. Here writing as "The Uninvited Ombudsman," Alan covers the day's stories as they ought to read. Read more.

Recent Comments

Read the last 100 comments on one handy page here!