Sign up to receive Alan's newsletter by email.

Speaking engagements

  • Invite Alan Korwin to speak at your event! Thought-provoking, entertaining, freedom-oriented topics -- your guests will thank you for the excitement -- long after the applause ends!


« January 2010 | Main | March 2010 »

Baby Gabriel Distortion

The lamestream media told you:

Baby Gabriel has dominated nightly news for weeks, the poor sweet innocent thing, this could happen to you if you're not careful. Be afraid.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

If the media was doing its job you'd know that more than 100,000 people are officially on the missing persons list. More than 800,000 are added every year, most of which are false and removed. By focusing on a single case the "news" does a disservice to the entire country, making an isolated incident seem meaningful, and hiding the true dangers of incessant kidnappings, abductions, runaways, rubouts and unexplained disappearances.

Try to imagine thousands of parents, spouses, siblings and friends, desperate over the mysterious loss of their loved ones, while watching the media fawn and anguish and completely ignore any of their real ongoing concerns.

Government records show: As of December 31, 2007, there were 105,229 active missing person records in NCIC database. Juveniles under the age of 18 accounted for 54,648 (51.93%) of the records, and 12,362 (11.75%) were for juveniles between the ages of 18 and 20.

During 2007, 814,967 missing person records were entered into NCIC, a slight decrease from 2006. Missing person records cleared or canceled during the same period totaled 820,212, for a net loss. [Note: Can you imagine the work and tax money needed to enter all the records, most of which turn out to be bogus?]

Reasons for removals include: the subject was located by a law-enforcement agency; the individual returned home; or the record had to be removed by the entering agency after determining it was invalid.

In 2007, there were 518 records entered as Abducted by a Stranger; 2,919 entered as Abducted by Non-Custodial Parent; and 299,787 entered as Runaway. This only accounts for 303,224 entries of the 418,967 entered. If this was covered by the media, they'd have no space for anything else.

One child incessantly on TV vs. hundreds of thousands reported missing, many of whom are never seen again. The media that considers its coverage of this subject ethical should turn up missing.

Government Crushes Competitors

The lamestream media told you:

Toyota, normally known for reliable and safe cars, is having trouble with sticking gas pedals, and after enormous pressure from Congress -- which the carmaker fiercely resisted for years -- has instituted a massive vehicle recall. Now even its best-selling hybrid Prius is under scrutiny, and Congress is considering fining the Japanese automaker an amount thought to be in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In a novel extension of age-old extortion schemes, the U.S. Congress is considering demanding money from one of its car-making rivals for selling shoddy products to American customers.

"It's incredibly clever," says one car expert. "A private foreign company sells bad products to private American people, harming them. The governing class uses the situation to step in and charge enormous fees to the seller -- and then keeps the money, calling it 'fines.' If government still represented the people, the money, if the takings can be justified at all, should go to the people harmed, not government bureaucrats and apparatchiks."

Since commandeering ownership of General Motors and Chrysler and installing its own federal "czars" to run them, Toyota just happens to be the biggest competitor the U.S. government has. "The ability to hurt your competitor with so-called fines, after forcing massive recalls, is a competitive edge beyond description," says the expert.

Governing elites have used similar schemes in the past. Page Nine recently reported on the practice of making rules for running airports that cause massive delays and trap passengers for endless hours in aircraft. The elites then step in, fine the airlines for the inconvenience endured by the paying customers, and keep the money. "As the government's fiscal crisis worsens, we can expect more pernicious extortions in the future."


AP Bias Revealed

The lamestream media told you:

Writing for the AP, Pauline Arrillaga says, "Forget 'can,' 'change' and, above all, 'hope.' The new word echoing in the blogosphere and beyond as Obama enters Year Two: disappointment."

The writer goes on to document sad sentiment spread nationwide with words like letdown, disillusioned, bitter, disenchanted, anger, sorrow, aggrieved, disheartened, frustration, compromise and not hope. She paints a picture of abject despair, following wildly unparalleled hope and optimism.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In a rare public appearance, four members of the Associated Press chatted with and took questions from the Arizona Book Publishing Association, during the group's first-of-the-year monthly meetings. Often reclusive, three editors and a national writer described the inner workings of the AP, their roles within it, and specifics of how they find and report stories.

The AP writer told of an assignment she got from the New York office, formerly the core of AP, and now restructured as one of four regional hubs. It seems the nation was bursting with hope and optimism right after Mr. Obama's inauguration, and now, one year later, everyone was disappointed and dejected.

"But wait," pointed out The Uninvited Ombudsman, the emcee for the evening event, "for half the nation's people, there was hopeless disappointment and dejection right after the election, and now, a year later, there is finally a ray of hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Doesn't your story neglect that half of the picture?"

All four AP staffers, who had nodded approvingly during the anecdote, stared like deer caught in headlights. They emitted a nervous chuckle. Then half the audience at the packed event, realizing that insidious institutionalized bias had been self exposed, broke out into boisterous cheers and applause.

The writer stammered a bit, mumbled about speaking to "those people" too (though even if true it didn't get into print) and the meeting moved on, the point having been made. Leftist bias is so deeply ingrained at this "news" organization that self-evident errors of omission are all but invisible to them, up and down the line.

Is Everyone Retarded?

The lamestream media told you:

Rahm Emanuel used a word, "retarded," that is now socially banned, and he has been asked to step down from power by Sarah Palin, a FOX News commentator.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Both parties, all news commentators, Sarah Palin and the rest of the sadly brainwashed public should stop complaining about nouveau-naughty words and understand that words are just words and that's OK. Being offended by words is, well, retarded, but a personal choice people are free to make. The glorious American ideal of free speech flatly rejects the idea that some words are bad or unacceptable, and politically correct attempts to ban and manage language is an arch enemy of The American Way.

According to leading experts who refused to be identified, anyone who complains about the word retarded is retarded. And we all know some people are indeed really really retarded, even if they're smart about it.


The Chicago Gun-Ban Case - Prelude

EYEWITNESS REPORT from the U.S. Supreme Court

 Prelude -- Prelude -- Prelude

 What's At Stake In The Chicago Gun-Ban Case, McDonald v. Chicago

Feb. 25, 2010 (complete links to key documents at end)


Are the 50 states required to obey the Second Amendment?

Or can they do whatever they want, with no obligation to respect our right to keep and bear arms?

That's what's at stake in the Chicago gun-ban case, McDonald v. City of Chicago, at the U.S. Supreme Court, where oral arguments will be heard this Tuesday, March 2, with a decision expected in June.

I'm hitting the road tomorrow (for two Texas conventions) and will be at the Court for eyewitness reports. The circus atmosphere does not appear to be in the air -- yet this case could have more far-reaching consequences than the Heller case.

There's no disagreement that when the Second Amendment and the Bill of Rights were ratified in 1791, they were designed to control the federal government only, not the states. Did the 14th Amendment change that?

The Colonists and the Founders were intensely afraid that a strong central government would eventually confiscate the rights cherished by early Americans -- the very things that made America great and that have drawn people here like magnetism. It was not a baseless fear, as we can see clearly from constant and growing federal usurpations of our rights and freedoms, with massive accumulations of power in Washington, D.C.

The First Amendment says it plainly: "CONGRESS shall make no law..." (emphasis added). The whole idea was to control the central government, not the states (which had their own protections and statements of rights).

The idea that the states should also be obligated to respect the fundamental rights in the national Bill of Rights didn't arrive until 1868, with the 14th Amendment. And that was a result of the end of slavery -- the former Confederate states did everything they could think of to deny virtually any rights to newly freed slaves -- especially the right to keep and bear arms.

Congress, led by the northern states, declared that all Americans had rights and that, "...No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws..." (the key 52 words of the 14th Amendment's 435 words, emphasis added). The historical record is emphatic in noting that the right to arms, especially for freedmen, was a prime mover in passing this amendment.

That language is clear, but here's where it gets tricky, and the heart of the McDonald case. Passage of 14A didn't automatically protect all citizens. What exactly are all the rights, privileges and immunities of the people? For reasons too complex to go into now, rights in the Bill of Rights have been applied to control the states, but only one at a time, by the U.S. Supreme Court.

There were two main ways to do this -- the Privileges and Immunities clause (which protects only citizens), and the Due Process clause (which applies to "any person"). The Court has essentially abandoned the P&I clause, and relied mainly on Due Process.

Continue reading "The Chicago Gun-Ban Case - Prelude" »

"Who Dat" Racism?

The lamestream media told you:

"BATON ROUGE (AP) — Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal is getting into the "Who Dat" fray with the NFL, asking the state attorney general to look into a possible lawsuit over the ownership rights to the popular New Orleans Saints football-team phrase...

"Some T-shirt makers in the state have been hit with cease-and-desist letters from the NFL demanding they stop selling shirts with the traditional cheer of Saints fans. The NFL claims the shirts infringe on a legal trademark it owns."

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

While the NFL is busy providing another phrase you can't say for my upcoming book (Bomb Jokes At Airports -- and 186 other things you'd better not say), the media has missed the central point in the entire story.

"Who Dat" is a racial slur against people of color who can't speak proper English. It was popular in the now suppressed hysterical TV comedy series Amos and Andy, which was branded racist by racists and other people who couldn't appreciate the humor, and can no longer be broadcast despite First Amendment guarantees.

Mr. Obama himsself was raked over the coals for being too "articulate," a code word, according to news sources, for a black person who isn't black enough. "Who dat" is an ebonics phrase, the dialect Mr. Obama is accused of not using by, among others, senate majority leader Harry Reid. It means, "Who is that?"

The NFL deserves -- if the media and the public are to be consistent -- severe ostracism and a boycott for attempting to trademark blatantly racist language. The Uninvited Ombudsman suggests instead that everyone should get out of the lame name blame game mind frame and just let words be words, no offense intended, none taken. (Wayne H. in Louisiana writes that the NFL wouldn't care if the Saints hadn't gotten so far in the playoffs and then won the SuperBowl.)

, ,

Jihadi Trial Movement

The lamestream media told you:

Maybe we should move the New York City trials of Islamist jihadi mass murders elsewhere.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

It seems obvious to everyone but federal officials in power that "soldiers of allah" attacking us or attempting to attack us are enemy combatants -- not suspected criminals in need of Miranda rights.

If we spend an astounding $216 million on security (in the first year alone!) for a trial of confessed atrocity murderers, even though that will "create jobs and help America's economy" (no officials have said that but you know they're thinking about it, and "officials" in one upstate New York city are actually lobbying for the gig), the muslim insurgents have won this round. They are laughing at us. Those of us with brains are laughing too, between the tears.

Why isn't the media -- or anyone -- questioning how the executive branch is considering moving a trial, which is the clear responsibility of the judicial branch? Isn't there a separation of powers anymore that we used to cherish as a bedrock of our freedom? Can the executive branch do that to your trial?

Tax-Free Gun Sales

The lamestream media told you:

Nothing. Just because the media omits all this news doesn't mean I'm going to.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

State Rep. Warner McBride (D-Courtland) has introduced legislation in Mississippi (HB 1207) that would exempt firearms and ammunition sold over Labor Day weekend from sales tax. This program generated beau coup sales in Louisiana when a similar plan was run for the second time in 2009 ("The Louisiana Second Amendment Weekend Sales Tax Holiday).

The firearms industry is working with an economist to develop data in support of such tax-free holidays. This data would be used to encourage the introduction and passage of similar legislation in other states. Currently, tax-holiday legislation is pending in Kentucky, Oklahoma and Missouri.

[Note: The public and anyone in business already knows that sales-tax "holidays" have tremendous popular appeal, and the boost to sales is a very welcome business builder especially in rough times. If our legislators were serious about stimulating the economy, they'd be declaring sales-tax holidays for everything, and getting out of the way.]

Record Gun Sales

The lamestream media told you:

Nothing. Hey, you already know if it's good gun news, the "news" media are absent without a doctor's note.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Federal bureaucrats conducted 1,119,229 NICS background checks on the retail sale of firearms in January, ranking the month as the second highest January for NICS checks. This figure, a 7.8 percent decrease from the January 2009 surge in firearms and ammunition sales -- is an increase of 18.7 percent over checks in January 2008. The NSSF used official NICS stats in releasing this story.

Although the media and the public has continued for decades to suggest there are 250 million firearms in private hands, the NICS figures force an intelligent person to increase that number by about 10 million per year. The Uninvited Ombudsman invites someone else to go through the NICS numbers, publicly posted, review old news clippings, and do the math which, if well done, will be posted here with attribution.


Gun March Growing

The lamestream media told you:

Nothing. You expected otherwise?

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The Million Gun March on Washington -- now The Second Amendment March on Washington since guns are basically banned for citizens at the seat of our government -- is progressing with great vigor. The NRA is cooperating, posting frequent announcements to their massive lists. The event, more of a rally than a march due to logistics, will take place from 10AM to 4PM. Assemble at the NE cor. of the Washington Monument grounds.

Many state capitals will experience their own local events for people who can't make the trip, check with your state coordinators. Pitch in to help with volunteer sweat or even a few bucks. They're your rights, you're an American, rise to the task. You can even contribute to "John Dough," a novel Porta-San sponsorship for the event.


Read what people are saying about Page Nine, or tell Alan yourself.

See the archives below, or click through to an index of Page Nine posts at

About the Author

  • Freelance writer Alan Korwin is a founder and past president of the Arizona Book Publishing Association. With his wife Cheryl he operates Bloomfield Press, the largest producer and distributor of gun-law books in the country. Here writing as "The Uninvited Ombudsman," Alan covers the day's stories as they ought to read. Read more.

Recent Comments

Read the last 100 comments on one handy page here!